Where the Parent Ego Impacts the Adult World
We can begin analysing Parent-Ego by recognising attitudes to money, crises, men/women and other fundamental areas of life.
These attitudes are formed at a very early age from how we see our own parents and role models react to these topics.
Attitudes to Money
Suze Orman covers this subject in asking people to describe their money memory or most powerful memory of money. Someone who sees a parent hate dealing with money or describe it as dirty can become averse to saving. Those who hold a fearful view of money in an attitude of scarcity tend to spend all that they have on immediate pleasures in a use it or loose it mode. Those who see parents who fear scarcity of money and extreme frugality may choose to become hoarders themselves. Saving money for emergencies and the future is rational. Returning items on used in order to get a refund or hoarding freebies for potential later use is irrational.
Attitudes to Crises
How did a parent react to a crisis? If Father lost his job, did he break down in tears as a broken man, terrified of the future? Or did he respond to the income crisis by getting out a phone book and calling every employer in the area? If a child became seriously ill, did Mother calmly call the doctor or get the necessary medicines and treatments out? Or did she become angry and upset, yelling at everyone while delegating care or pretending that nothing was wrong? When a car was in an accident, did the parents react as if the sky was falling? Or did they find out if anyone was hurt and then pull out their insurance information?
Attitudes to Men/Women
How the male parent and female parent interact provide the basis of how children expect male-female relationships to be. If a child sees a father dominate his mother, calling her no-good or incapable of acting intelligently, the boy may be imprinted with that relationship model. The boy has trouble dealing with women as equals because his father treated his own mother badly. The relationships does not have to be physically violent, only an “I’m OK – You’re not OK” dynamic. A girl who follows that model may decline long term relationships with healthy men in favor of one who dominates her, seeking a man who acts as her father acted, because this is how she thinks a normal man or a man “for her” will act.
